Getting away
During the first year after a loved one has died, anniversaries and other significant days are particularly hard. My reaction was to get away. “Oh, that I had the wings of a dove! I would flee far away and be at rest.” Psalm 55:6. For the first Christmas, we rented a lodge in the Highlands – daughter, son, brother-in-law, a very good widow friend and myself. We did take Tom’s ashes to be scattered by the side of a loch, but we also enjoyed going for walks and even tried a simple circuit at the TreeZone park.
For my birthday, which followed in February, I went to Florida to visit Brother, Sister-in-law, nieces and families. It was important for me to see brother because he had been very ill two months after Tom died and had needed emergency surgery. It was wonderful being in a different country, seeing blue skies and sandy beaches and being cossetted by the family.
In the Easter holidays, daughter took me on a tour to the Hebrides. I had always longed to see Harris and Lewis, and I was not disappointed.
One year on, the anniversary of Tom’s death, daughter sent me some lovely South African flowers. I was now very much stuck at home with a new puppy. She has been a delight from the beginning, but used to get so car sick, that I couldn’t even take her for a 5 minute trip in the car. Fortunately, she has outgrown it and is now happy to join me on jaunts.
Thank you Marlene – what a beautiful blog – so insightful, and so helpful to others as well as yourself.
Hugs
Mary
Thank you very much, Mary. I do hope that someone will be encouraged by my blog.
Dearest Marlene,
You have been such a blessing to me during these last months and I love that you are writing down some of your thoughts and experiences.
Lots of love, Janet
Dear Janet
Thank you so much for your encouragement. It’s not easy “baring one’s soul”, but I felt strongly led to do it. If it helps somebody, it will be worth it.
Dear Marlene,
Thank you so much for your sharing of your experiences. I can identify with many of them. I lost my husband three and a half years ago. I moved to Scotland, where I have a brother, just one year after his death. The first year was hard with so much stuff to clear, and decisions to make. Time has helped but some days are better than others.
With love.
Heather
Dear Heather
I am so sorry to hear of your loss! We see one other in church, but never really know what others are going through. I have been fortunate in having close friends who have shared their experiences with me. It does help to know that one is not alone.
Love Marlene