Hope

On my morning ramble with Suki, I found myself contemplating two contrasting pictures.  Although the first would have appeared hopeless at the time, it is now, with hindsight, a picture of hope.  It is the picture of Jesus determinedly setting out for Jerusalem, knowing that he would be arrested, falsely accused and executed.  Hebrews, chapter 12 verse 2, tells us that, for the joy that was set before him, Jesus endured the cross, scorning its shame.  Christians believe that the Easter message is one of hope, of life after death.  “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” John 3:16. I’m grateful for a faith that not only gives me future hope but also gives me strength for the present.

The second picture imprinted on my mind was the one of the awful destruction of Ukraine that is being shown on our television screens. It appears to be a situation of utter despair, with very little hope of light at the end of the tunnel.  And yet the Ukrainian soldiers bravely fight on.  One can only assume that they believe that they will ultimately be able to hold onto their independence and that they are kept going by that hope.

One definition of hope is “to cherish a desire with anticipation”.  It implies an expectation of something that will happen in the future and involves waiting.  Waiting requires patience.  St Paul says in his letter to the Romans “but if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently” (Romans 8:25.) During my walks through the woods, I have noticed how some of the trees have sprouted new growth despite having, once upon a time, seemingly died.  Storm Arwen was the first severe storm of the past winter and caused a lot of damage because it came from an unusual direction.  Thousands of trees came down and brought power-lines down with them.  It took weeks in some parts of north-east Scotland to have their electricity restored.  My garden was largely protected by the house and escaped damage. However, it was a storm in January, coming from a different direction, which brought down branches and uprooted a tree.

What has this to do with hope?  I suppose that the first answer is that my tree is still of use to me. It has been transformed into firewood as well as wood chippings for mulch. I find this thought comforting because when I am no longer as physically able there will always be some other way in which I can be useful. 

The other answer is that, if the fallen trees in the wood can sprout new branches from their roots and trunks, maybe the remaining roots of my tree will produce new life. Of course it will take time. I will have to be patient and watch carefully for new growth.

I believe that we all have the capacity to heal and grow through grief.  The book that I have often quoted from ends with this comment “Growth means utilizing our potentials.  The encounter of grief reawakens us to the importance of utilizing our potentials – our capacities to mourn our losses openly and without shame, to be interpersonally effective in our relationships with others, and to continue to discover fulfilment in life, living and loving.” (Alan Wolfelt, “Healing a Spouse’s Grieving Heart” page 106)

In the years after Tom’s death, I have found new ways to use talents that have been lying dormant throughout the years of juggling family life with my work load. I’m sure that I will always miss Tom, but I have discovered that there is light in the darkness.  There is sadness and there are hard times, but hope remains.  Here are some quotes from people that said it better than I can:

But I know, somehow, that only when it is dark enough can you see the stars.

Martin Luther Kind, Jr.

Hope is being able to see that there is light despite all of the darkness.

Desmond Tutu

Hope itself is like a star – not to be seen in the sunshine of prosperity, and only to be discovered in the night of adversity.

Charles Haddon Spurgeon

The night sky reminds me of my insignificance in the universe and helps to put things into perspective. The darker the sky, the more stars one can see. We were newly married when Halley’s Comet appeared.  I remember our trips away from the city lights to see it and the excitement when I spotted a fuzzy blob in my peripheral vision. Even more exciting was our trip to the north of Scotland to see Hale-Bopp, a real visible comet with a tail! One of the joys of being married to an astronomer was that I got to see these wonders. However, one doesn’t need any special knowledge or equipment to appreciate the night sky. It is there for everyone to see and to marvel.